Friday, 30 January 2015
Anxiety: Dear reader, if you suffer anxiety in social situa...
Anxiety: Dear reader, if you suffer anxiety in social situa...: Dear reader, if you suffer anxiety in social situations, you are not alone . "Anxiety: distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear ...
Real thoughts on Recovery: The Objective vs. Subjective."1. existing in the...
Real thoughts on Recovery: The Objective vs. Subjective.
"1. existing in the...: The Objective vs. Subjective . "1. existing in the mind; belonging to the thinking subject rather than to t...
"1. existing in the...: The Objective vs. Subjective . "1. existing in the mind; belonging to the thinking subject rather than to t...
The Objective vs. Subjective.
"1. existing in the mind; belonging to the thinking subject rather than to the object of thought (opposed to objective )."
To place value on our feelings, even nagging feelings and unwanted thoughts, or to continue to look outside myself for answers by using the universal consciousness we have learned to seek from the media's impression?
Counsellors, for example, are supposed to value the subjective. Counselling is all to do with personal thoughts and reactions. Now, I find this contradictory to my perceived learned skill in modern society to always value the objective and to move away from personal reactions to thoughts to what would be more valued for the universal whole. Think of the news for example, we are constantly faced with the views of others in everyday life. Whether on the TV, the radio or in conversation with friends and acquaintances. We are constantly being told what to think, feel, say and do.
To value the subjective means relating to properties or specific conditions of the mind - as distinguished from general or universal experience. As we learn, grow and change through life, we first value the subjective as children. Then, as we get a little older, we begin to filter in the media's direction and learn to move away from this technique of evaluating thought, to an objective way of thinking as appropriated from a general, universal experience. What, I question, is the more healthy way of processing the wealth of information we are accustomed to receiving? In a society where I am generally faced with the desire to conform, which path do I follow? My own thoughts or societies general thoughts and opinions? I don't want to end up 45 with my core self being full of grandiose ideas conjured from my compromise on the objective. I want what we all ultimately aim for, to be 'well'.
So I face a decision on my values, being a trainee counsellor and a 12 step recovering addict, finding that at this point, each undertaking challenges the others code. The 12 steps focus on moving away from self-will and into a higher power's will for us. The counselling values having a connection to the inner self. To achieve both is ultimately my aim. My personal experience will play a big role in pursuing these goals; and I am grateful for the challenge.
Counsellors, for example, are supposed to value the subjective. Counselling is all to do with personal thoughts and reactions. Now, I find this contradictory to my perceived learned skill in modern society to always value the objective and to move away from personal reactions to thoughts to what would be more valued for the universal whole. Think of the news for example, we are constantly faced with the views of others in everyday life. Whether on the TV, the radio or in conversation with friends and acquaintances. We are constantly being told what to think, feel, say and do.
To value the subjective means relating to properties or specific conditions of the mind - as distinguished from general or universal experience. As we learn, grow and change through life, we first value the subjective as children. Then, as we get a little older, we begin to filter in the media's direction and learn to move away from this technique of evaluating thought, to an objective way of thinking as appropriated from a general, universal experience. What, I question, is the more healthy way of processing the wealth of information we are accustomed to receiving? In a society where I am generally faced with the desire to conform, which path do I follow? My own thoughts or societies general thoughts and opinions? I don't want to end up 45 with my core self being full of grandiose ideas conjured from my compromise on the objective. I want what we all ultimately aim for, to be 'well'.
So I face a decision on my values, being a trainee counsellor and a 12 step recovering addict, finding that at this point, each undertaking challenges the others code. The 12 steps focus on moving away from self-will and into a higher power's will for us. The counselling values having a connection to the inner self. To achieve both is ultimately my aim. My personal experience will play a big role in pursuing these goals; and I am grateful for the challenge.
Friday, 23 January 2015
An ex-addict with Manners.
My Internal thoughts on Recovery... and People...
Why is it that recovering addicts, who work a programme, still don't have the manners needed to sustain a healthy relationship with life? Being a young, single, independent girl in recovery I have issues when doors are slammed in my face.
I practice kindness and manners naturally. I find it difficult to fit in with grumpy recovering addicts who extend the gracious welcome needed for unity, in brew-making and general conversation; but do not practice general everyday manners as they rocket through life. In every walk of life I hold doors open for people, I smile at strangers; but the recovery programme identifies this as having a 'lack of boundaries' with people. So what are you asking me to do? Feel uncomfortable as I shun people, close my good nature off, in favour of irreversible indecency and thoughtlessness for the accrual of self-esteem and boundaries? Because once I begin the practice of dis-using my manners, it becomes an irreversible trait.
I question: am I attracting unwanted attention, particularly from males? Am I dealing with poorly people and this is why I need my boundaries? I recognise the feeling of lack of self-worth when I smile at a stranger, often male, in the street. I smile, they smile, I feel negative about the action.
So here I stand: Experiencing an internal quarrel with myself as I struggle through the early world of recovery; simultaneously trying to open up and yet close down, focusing on boundaries whilst reaching out and telling the group about my most personal issues and problems about how I think, what I'm feeling, how recovery is going, personal goals and struggles. I feel an unobstructed freedom to be as creative as I like... but I can't shake the feeling that from my point of view, and this may be an inaccurate perception, that there is a fridgidness within the common universal consciousness of a particular meeting I frequent now and then. It is life-saving stuff, to share openly and honestly within an NA meeting, however I am caught between the purpose and practiced Traditions of unity, and feeling, in a normal meeting, I am being self-seeking to cry about my addiction. I asked to be an addict.
I have compassion for every soul who has ever had an addiction. Although we made the choice, we are not responsible for the disease. But seriously...
HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR OTHERS...
Why is it that recovering addicts, who work a programme, still don't have the manners needed to sustain a healthy relationship with life? Being a young, single, independent girl in recovery I have issues when doors are slammed in my face.
I practice kindness and manners naturally. I find it difficult to fit in with grumpy recovering addicts who extend the gracious welcome needed for unity, in brew-making and general conversation; but do not practice general everyday manners as they rocket through life. In every walk of life I hold doors open for people, I smile at strangers; but the recovery programme identifies this as having a 'lack of boundaries' with people. So what are you asking me to do? Feel uncomfortable as I shun people, close my good nature off, in favour of irreversible indecency and thoughtlessness for the accrual of self-esteem and boundaries? Because once I begin the practice of dis-using my manners, it becomes an irreversible trait.
I question: am I attracting unwanted attention, particularly from males? Am I dealing with poorly people and this is why I need my boundaries? I recognise the feeling of lack of self-worth when I smile at a stranger, often male, in the street. I smile, they smile, I feel negative about the action.
So here I stand: Experiencing an internal quarrel with myself as I struggle through the early world of recovery; simultaneously trying to open up and yet close down, focusing on boundaries whilst reaching out and telling the group about my most personal issues and problems about how I think, what I'm feeling, how recovery is going, personal goals and struggles. I feel an unobstructed freedom to be as creative as I like... but I can't shake the feeling that from my point of view, and this may be an inaccurate perception, that there is a fridgidness within the common universal consciousness of a particular meeting I frequent now and then. It is life-saving stuff, to share openly and honestly within an NA meeting, however I am caught between the purpose and practiced Traditions of unity, and feeling, in a normal meeting, I am being self-seeking to cry about my addiction. I asked to be an addict.
I have compassion for every soul who has ever had an addiction. Although we made the choice, we are not responsible for the disease. But seriously...
HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR OTHERS...
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